NewHew SquantViewTM Troubleshooting Guide.
Here is a collection of the most helpful calls and Customer regarding the NewHew SquantViewTM Plug-in. Select your trouble area below, or just read them all!
Customer #512: I cannot install the Squant color, using a Mac. It complains that there is not a Squant-colored folder, so it refuses to install.
Is Squant, therefore, just a joke?
NewHew Representative #63: Good sir, wouldn't you say that's a little bit elaborate for a joke???
Customer #512: Yes, but I have seen plenty of such pranks on the net before. While trying to install squant, I get the error: "File Not Found: a Squant-colored folder." This sounds like a typical prank a hacker with too much time on his hands would create, with the circular logic of: if you must already have a squant-colored folder before installing squant, then it would be impossible to install squant, therefore squant does not exist. Plus, it is on the Negativland site, and I never know when to take Negativland seriously, but then I guess I don't know them well enough to know where they're coming from.
NewHew Representative #63: The kind folks in Negativland and the folks at U.M.N. have simply payed me too much money to develop a product that is meant to be a joke. They believe in this product, and they want to allow the public to reap the benefits of Squant.
Are you running System 8.1.1 yet? You can find "A Squant Colored Folder" right in System Folder:Extensions:Colors. Several members of Negativland, as well as my tech crew, have all installed the plug-in with ease, even the older and slower people who grew up watching black-and-white televisions have this down pat. Perhaps it's something going on in your personal life? Just hang in there, and if you ever want to talk, I'm here. But for now, try rebooting with extensions off, hold down shift on startup, and THEN tell me how funny you think Squant is!
Customer #512: Tried it, and I get the same error. I still do not find it funny. Actually, I don't expect to find it funny, I just want to see what the squant color is.
NewHew Representative #63: OK... try it now.
Customer #512: Any other ideas of how I can install squant?
NewHew Representative #63: Do you have a computer-knowledgable friend close by that can assist?
Customer #231: Hi there.
NewHew Representative #18: Hello.
Customer #231: Sorry to bother you!
NewHew Representative #18: No, you're not.
Customer #231: Anyway, I'm trying to install the NewHew SquantViewer on a Mac by unstuffing the squantview.sit file, which creates a NewHew SquantView installer. When run, the installer complains "file not found: A Squant-Colored Folder." I've created a folder by this name, selected it as the folder to install in, and moved the installer into this folder, none work. Also, the instructions in the readme file seem to be inconsistent with what actually happens, since there doesn't seem to be a SquantView folder, as step 2 describes. Am I just confused? Any help you could provide would be appreciated.
NewHew Representative #18: Thanks for your call. I realize that the readme wasn't fully updated from the beta. Now onto your problem. Have you attempted to install with your extensions off yet? (Reboot holding down the shift key). That should do it. If it doesn't, let me know what system software you're running, and what type of computer you're running this on.
May you view the world through Squant-colored glasses shortly,
Customer #231: I'm dying to see squant, and thanks! Thanks very much for being here. I appreciate your prompt service. I have been trying to decide if this whole squant thing was some preposterous hoax, and I'm using a workmate's Mac to install this software on, and trying to explain makes me sound like a lunatic!
NewHew Representative #18: How do you think I felt when the idea was pitched to the boys upstairs? How the heck were the programmers supposed to know what the darned thing would look like? At least when the tech crew is programming other things like pesticide databases and video games, They know what the goal is supposed to be, but here... they couldn't see the solution to the problem, until they literally saw it!!! Or as a great comedian once said, "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!". On second thought, I guess that doesn't really make too much sense in this situation... crazy me!
Customer #231: The concept of actually discovering a new primary color seems to leave people a little confounded. I know that Negativland associates with rtmark, but I don't think that we, their supporters, are quite the worthy target for their usual hijinks, so I'm assuming that squant is really legit and just completely and totally out-there is all. I am personally dying to see squant, and won't truly believe it until I see it, and even if/when I do see it, that in itself will incite a blizzard of questions I'll probably never get answered.
NewHew Representative #18: There are some new experiences in life that some people have a lot of difficulty handling. And THEN they have difficulty relating these experiences to other people! I was sceptical at first myself, but frankly, the money involved openned my mind. A note of warning though... when you do see squant please be careful. A few people on the staff have had to go into minor therapy (just twice a week) because of the shock of seeing something completely foreign to them. I mean they're mostly ok, but this can be a little traumatic to some.
Customer #231: Anyway, with this in mind, I hope you don't mind terribly me bothering you again, as I have not been able to get SquantView installed. I tried installing SquantView with extensions off, and it still gives me the "File not found: A Squant-Colored folder" error when I click "install". My friend's computer is running Mac OS8 on a PowerComputing Power Center 120 cheap cheesy Mac clone (hmmm. . . could that be why?). If I get a chance I'll try popping it onto a real Mac. Thanks so much for your help. I really appreciate it. If this is for real, you're really providing a tremendous service, and I'll do everything I can to spread the good word of squant (well, as good as that word can get!).
NewHew Representative #18: Ahh... I see the problem. Upgrade to system 8.1! That should take care of things.
Customer #231: I'm not so sure I'm looking forward to constant bombardments of "now available in squant!" but I'm anxious anyway.
NewHew Representative #18: Things will be coming around the bend sooner than you think! I was just in a GAP at mall in Virginia where I see an item or two coming off the racks. Unfortunately they were ladies' items, and while I normally don't think twice about purchasing women's undergarments, I was feeling a bit bashful at the time. I don't think Squant's primary odor was very helpful to those items as well, but then again, I didn't closely inspect them, because no one likes a panty-sniffer. Tomorrow is another day!
Customer #231: Thanks so much for your help. My mac-using friend is trying to secure a version of 8.1. In the meantime I wait in front of my lowly PC. I appreciate you being so forthwith about this stuff. Sitting here having yet to see squant, I do have one burning question- if squant is indeed a primary color, and therefore not composed of a combination of other colors, how can you modify an RGB monitor to display it? You can't make red out of G and B, right? What gives?
NewHew Representative #18: MAN, do I wish I could tell you about that! It's a really innovative new technology, that I'm afraid I can't be forthcoming with AT ALL until the patents are established... unless you're willing to die for that knowledge.
Customer #231: Verrrrrrry convenient, no?
NewHew Representative #18: Yes!
Customer #231: Your website is quite cool, by the way. An interesting sense of design, and the VR's are fun. I'm going to be in NYC at the end of the month, so if you come across any squant-colored clothes at the GAP in town, let me know so I can go snatch 'em up, I dont' care who's undies I'm buying.
NewHew Representative #18: I've moved, which is for the best since I don't want you to find me and assault me if you can't get the plug-in going by then.
Customer #231: Damn. You're on to me.
NewHew Representative #18: As for the undergarments: (Discretely) ask if any of your lady friends already own squant undies. Make them an offer. OR... maybe the nice people at the GAP will tell you when the squant-colored women's undies will be in stock (they do seem to be the first release items)!
Customer #231: Checked the GAP website to no avail.
NewHew Representative #18: They do their updates on Mondays, so it wouldn't be up there just yet.
Customer #231: They said they didn't have any of the color squant, but that some of the unwashed ones had some squant left on them. (I know, eww).
NewHew Representative #18: If I may be candid: I've been with several woman since I've become privy to squant, and upon VERY close inspection of their underwear, there's nothing squant-colored happening down there. That might have been herpes.
Anyway, don't you think a gynecologist would have discovered squant first if that were the case? Are you mocking me?
Customer #231: The few folks I know who use Macs have insisted that squant is either an urban myth or some sort of trojan horse, and have decided not to help, saying "the chances of it being a new primary color are infintessimally small, and the chances of the plugin being something malicious are considerably higher." My friend at work has already started re-formatting her Mac clone out of fear for a virus or whatever. I thought you'd like to know.
NewHew Representative #18: I promise you there is absolutely no virus in the installer! Run a virus checker on it if you're not convinced before someone goes and reformats their hard drive!
Customer #231: I did a search for squant on several search engines, which have led mostly to Negativland references, and apparently "Squant" is Christina Ricci's nickname. I always thought her coloring was a little odd. She was good in "Ice Storm" and "Buffalo 66" though.
NewHew Representative #18: Who is that? Do you think she'd be willing to promote the plug-in? I have a small advertising budget. I doubt that she is actually squant-colored, but we can superimpose the color over her. Unfortunately, current tvs also have that RGB problem you mentioned earlier, and to my knowledge, there aren't any RBGS tvs being manufactured yet.
Customer #231: So, thanks for your help. If my experience is any indication, it'll take a little more effort for people to believe folks about squant.
NewHew Representative #18: My pleasure. Sorry you're having such problems.
Customer #231: Wouldn't this be all over the news??
NewHew Representative #18: You clearly don't read the art and web trade magazines! (Check out Artforum, July, 1998)
Customer #231: I'll check the negativland web to see if you get a Windows plug-in going at some point.
NewHew Representative #18: Coming eventually!
Customer #231: Sorry for all the interruptions.
I hope I'm not just a sucker. Bye.
Customer #431: Good Hello, technical support person (I hope).
NewHew Representative #105: That's me!!!
Customer #431: This morning I attempted to install the NewHew SquantView Installer on my PowerMac 7600/132 and continually the install fails with the message: An error occurred that prevented the installation from completing.
"File not found: A Squant-Colored Folder (OK)"
NewHew Representative #105: Hmm...Are you running System 8.1.1? Are you sober? These two things are very helpful getting the installer going.
Customer #431: I am running system 8.1 & I am sober.
NewHew Representative #105: OK, then, I'll take your word on both of these claims. Let's see what I can do.
Customer #431: Do I need system 8.1.1 ?
NewHew Representative #105: I would bet that that's the problem! Unless you're running Quicktime3.0. I've discovered a conflict between the two. Try disabling that and re-installing. 8.1.1 also takes care of the bug.
Customer #431: Do you have any other recommendations?
NewHew Representative #105: Buy low, sell high; The Great Gatsby; and the soup of the day.
Customer #431: Even though this software will not likely give me a completely new outlook on life and the world (and other things) around me, I would still like to experience it.
NewHew Representative #105: If I can be a bit more serious for a moment: Squant will really change your perception of things. I was highly skeptical at first, but after developing the product and seeing it work.. well... color me squant! It's worth the hassle.
If you just can't wait, someone just told me today that the MARS corporation is beginning to manufacture squant m&ms in certain test markets. You should go to your local m&m supplier and check it out. Ask if your town is within the promotion area.
You should be able to get the stuff to work though after you disable Quicktime.
Customer #431: Can you provide any assistance that will help me to successfully install this and experience the world again for the first time?
NewHew Representative #105: Have you tried restarting with extensions off? (Hold the shift key down while booting). I'd also like to point out that seeing squant isn't really a rebirth like you describe, it's more like a entering a different frame of mind. Maybe even two, depending on various mental issues at the time of installation!
Customer #431: Thank you and such-like.
Customer #17: Hidey-ho. Like any good technophile, I'm eager-keen to get with the color revolution, but when I followed the link directing me to squant-capability plugins, I was dismayed to discover that while a plugin is available for the Mac and planned for Windoze, there was no mention of Linux ("The Choice of a GNU Generation"), or of any UNIX variant for that matter.
NewHew Representative #95: Sorry, but there are no current plans to develop the NewHew SquantViewTM plug-in for Linux/Unix.
Customer #17: Now, while I can appreciate the fact that much of the consumer-level Web is viewed on Macs and M$-burdened Intel boxes, most of it is still served by UNIX-based machines, and a growing number of us in the low-rent, we'd-like-to-think-we're-fairly-subversive-thank-you sections of the Net run primarily on Linux. Note further that UNIX and its variants have long been the choice of professional graphics developers as well as webslingers, and those are precisely the sort of people who are currently in the best position to leverage market acceptance of any new primary color, squant included.
NewHew Representative #95: Didn't you just hear me? What did I say above? There's no more money in the budget, and frankly, Negativland barely covered my expenses. They tried to barter with me, and I said, "Great, how am I supposed to pay my staff with your damn t-shirts? This is reasearch and development, not a damn fashion show." I eventually got the 3/4ths of the cash I asked for for this project, and 100 bumper stickers. Woo. I'm not spending anymore time on this project, unless you're willing to foot the bill yourself. I'm not prepared to eat further expenses.
Customer #17: Uh. . . Woo! Just out of curiosity, what might that bill come to? (A rough estimate of order of magnitude will be fine.)
NewHew Representative #95: Not enough!
Customer #17: If development for the *n*x platform seems intimidating, fear not; Linux is open-sourced and cooperatively developed. Often all that is necessary is to draft the basic layout of a new feature, publicize it on the Internet, wait for someone in the vast worldwide development community to take an interest, and bingo -- squant-capable Linux distributions start popping up from here to Seoul faster than you can say "Mozilla".
NewHew Representative #95: What does it take to get through to you??? I don't know how long you've had this ADD problem, but you really need to get yourself checked out. We here at NewHew, inc. care about your mental health, but not enough to not get annoyed with you.
Customer #17: Physical violence. I had parents too, y'know.
NewHew Representative #95: That's not funny, child abuse is no laughing matter... Ahh... I take it back, I plan on beating my kids some day, and I'll probably chuckle in the process.
Customer #17: Oh yeah: Woo!
NewHew Representative #95: Woo to you too!
Customer #17: And it's not an ADD problem, it's a SUBTRACT problem. The length of my post should have demonstrated to you that I have no trouble with ADDING whatsoever.
NewHew Representative #95: That's not funny either, half of my staff has SUBTRACT!
Customer #17: After all, I found it, and somewhere there must be a competent Linux developer who's just itching to take on the task.
NewHew Representative #95: Why are you not listening to what I have to tell you??? No one ever listens to me. It all started in nursery school. At nap time I always used to tell the other kids stories about taxes and welfare reform, BOOM, everyone was out like a light. In grade school same thing, but it was lunchtime and global nuclear annihilation. High school - same thing. College was even worse when I started talking about the ebola virus. I think this goes back to my parents. They never listened to me. They never cared. I still think that they sent me walking 3 miles away, 3 days a week, to piano lessons just to have me out of the house. The sad thing is that I can't even play!!! I didn't learn a damn thing.
Customer #17: Maybe it's because you're communicating on the phone? Have you considered talking to anyone in person?
NewHew Representative #95: That's really not funny. I'm a social phobic, and now I'm highly offended. Don't you think I wish I could go outside and meet people? You insensitive bastard.
I hope that answers your question.
Customer #17: Admirably! Woo! Woo, woo!
NewHew Representative #95: Woo woo woo to you too too too!
Customer #17: Bless you all and the ground you walk on.
NewHew Representative #95: Thank Woo!
Customer #349: so I got it to download finally, but now when I install it sez I need a squant colored folder. Now how am I going to make a squant colored folder if I don't even know what squant looks like. I'll tell ya right now, my crayola box is weeping rainbow tears with a missing piece
NewHew Representative #29: Please re-phrase this in proper, written English. Your "cutesy" abuse of the language (including, but not limited to, the misspelling of common words, the omission or misuse of punctuation, and the lack of a capital letter at the start of a sentence), will not "fly" with me.
Oh, I'm an old softy. Did you try restarting with extensions off? (Hold the shift key down on startup.) The installer should then work.
Customer #208: I'm having problems accessing the colour squant.
NewHew Representative #88: OK, I'm following you so far.
Customer #208: I want to be the first on my block to show the new colour, but your plug-in isn't working for me.
NewHew Representative #88: What's it doing? What kind of computer are you attempting to install it on?
Customer #208: I want, no, NEED, to show up Stan, the 'colour-guy'. (pshaw, the 'colour guy'). No, I'M THE COLOUR GUY! I NEED SQUANT!!
NewHew Representative #88: Hold on a sec, you've lost me now. I'm just a computer tech guy. It seems you have a severe obsessive (and probably compulsive) behavior problem. I can't really help you with that. I can try, but I'm not a trained professional in the field of psychiatry, so you can't take my advise very seriously.
Customer #208: Please Customer me when you have updated your file to properly transmit squant to PCs like mine. I'm juiced and ready to go, but squant doesn't seem as ready as me.
NewHew Representative #88: Ahh... Why didn't you mention this earlier? We hope to have the PC version of the NewHew SquantViewTM by the end of the year, but it will probably be done sooner than that.
Customer #208: What's wrong with the plug-in? Thanks!
NewHew Representative #88: Now here you go assigning blame. Have you ever thought that there's something wrong with YOU? I mean besides your severe obsessive-compulsive disorder. I can diagnose this one: You're impatient. But that's ok, just remember that patience takes time.
If you'd like though, I could send you a copy of the final beta when it's ready.
Customer #208: Squant is my favorite colour!
NewHew Representative #88: How do you know??? I thought you were writing to me because you couldn't see it!!! Now I'm completely lost again.
Glad you enjoyed the plug-in then (I guess)!
Customer #566: There does not seem to be a download area for Win 95?
Am I wrong?
NewHew Representative #52: Yes, you're wrong.
NewHew Representative #52: Ahh... I won't leave you hanging like that. There's a mention on the plug-in page that the Win 95 version is coming soon. Right now it's looking like "coming soon" is in about 2 months or so. Stay tuned!
Customer #30: Um....I am very interested in the new colour Squant, but I am ..er .. colour blind. Will I be able to see Squant or ...um squat?
NewHew Representative #19: Good question!
Customer #30: Is it anything like the colour puke .. er, sorry ...puce?
NewHew Representative #19: First of all: I'm dropping the extra u, because we here in America have made "colour" into a far more efficient word (it now takes 5/6ths of the time to write!). Just letting you know.
Now to the matter at hand. Our tests indicate: If you're red-green colorblind, no I'm afraid you won't be able to see Squant. If you're blue-yellow colorblind, you can probably see it, but only in soft lighting. To my knowledge, there is no hard-and-fast Squant-related color-test right now, but I haven't been to the optometrist lately.
If you read Mr. Bendix's article at : http://www.negativland.com/squant/story.html, he goes into lengthy detail on this matter.
Customer #183: What is up with this squant stuff? I have tried finding info on this "color" else where on the net but to no avail i found naught.
NewHew Representative #41: Do you keep up with Artforum? There was a big article in the August edition! (pp. 30-34). The was also a brief blurb at http://www.irishtimes.com . Oh, and I loved your second sentence.
Customer #183: I still was curious but i didn't want to download this info onto my computer in case this was some kind of hackers joke.
NewHew Representative #41: I assure you, there is nothing within the NewHew SquantView installer that will harm your computer. I might be a hack at times, but I'm no hacker.
Customer #183: no offense but you have to admit that being an artist and having someone say hey there is this new primary color wanna see sounds a bit postiche.
NewHew Representative #41: Only minor offense taken. I agree, it does seem like a silly concept. When my company got the original contract to make this product, we literally had the client thrown out on the street on their bony little asses by security. It wasn't until the court settlement from this action that we realized there was some thing here we felt compelled to believe in!
Nice use of the word "postiche", by the way. What kind of art do you do?
Customer #183: any way i recieved a message saying access to this file is denied.
NewHew Representative #41: Where did you get this message, in the installer itself, or trying to download it?
Customer #183: What is this all about?
NewHew Representative #41: Reflected light, Nameless, reflected light.
Customer #183: Thank you for responding to me about squant. You asked what kind of art do I do. Well I used to be just a painter but now I am a Guerrilla Artist.
NewHew Representative #41: Do you work with squant?
Customer #183: I am currently working with a crew of five people on a piece called "Project Light Bandit" It is a guerrilla style performance piece that involves us driving around the city of Boston, Projecting film onto public buildings. However we are stuck financially because we can not afford a 'portable power inverter' to power our projecters from the van that we are using. We are in desperate need of $489 for this piece of Equipment and are asking anyone and everyone to help us out with any money they can spare in the name of Guerrilla art.
NewHew Representative #41: Wow, it's hard for me to see this here computer screen behind the large balls you've got. NewHew's taking a bath on this SquantView plug-in. As we speak, I'm trying to type this before they shut the power down.
Why don't you call up the NEA?
I only deal with the NewHew SquantView plug-in. I could care less about any grant manifestos you present to me.